Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize