Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
