clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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