Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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