Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
