I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She needs sedatives and a leash
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
