he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
