You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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