Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
