at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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