In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
420 ftw
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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