try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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