i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize