Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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