I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
