You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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