but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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