it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
