Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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