i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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