with your own penis?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
