so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
