This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
