I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
