I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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