I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
