I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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