Can i not drive my cunt home
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
i think my cat just said my name.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
