if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
