We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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