I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
