She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
