marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize