Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Randomize