Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
