my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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