Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Vodka?
Forever.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I didn't notice because vodka
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
