Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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