I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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