Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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