If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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