Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
