You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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