i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
