didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
as a side note pls kill me
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
