??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
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