i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
there was a trapeze. enough said
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
