i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
