ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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