she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My vagina is officially offended.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
