I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
