Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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