Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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