I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
