we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Drunk is a universal language darling
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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