I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
