My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the day after is always just damage control
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Randomize
