Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
