Dual....:-)
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
never play flip cup with pint glasses
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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