census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
We got so high we made milksteak
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
